Isang malawak na isipan...

hai ito...susubok lang kung uubra...sana...

Re: Isang malawak na isipan... Thu Jun 18, 2009 2:55 pm by LuAn

it's a short story i've written for our school pub's summer issue...post ko dito...sana magustuhan niyo...sana...hehehehe...

Her story: Dedication to a mother

A woman has strengths that amaze men. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love, and opinions. She smiles when she feels like screaming, sings when she feels like crying, cries when she’s happy, and laughs when she’s afraid. Her love is unconditional. There’s only one thing wrong with her. She sometimes forgets what she is worth…

When I have read this passage, there was only one person who entered my mind who fits the description; my mother.

I have been in this world for close to twenty-three years, my mother for thirty-nine. She was only fifteen when she eloped with my father way back in the Martial Law years. She was only sixteen when she had me. Barely out of puberty, I do not know what horrors and hardships she had to face when she decided to have a family of her own at such a tender age. But still, she strived hard to adjust to the family life. She struggled to learn the chores she scarcely did when she was still under her parents’ care. She made it a point to support her husband and take care of her children, even after he’s gone...

My mother was the more privileged child among her siblings. Not privileged in the material things, though, since they were a family that’s in the below poverty line. She was privileged that time since she was the only child in the family who was sent to a private high school—there were no public high schools then. Among the female members of their family, she has lesser household responsibilities since she was the youngest girl—she had three elder sisters—and since she was the only one who goes to school. She has many dreams and ambitions for her life and for her family.

But those dreams halted when the Martial Law brought the rebels to the low lands. That was when she met my father—a twenty-six-year-old rebel big wig. My father’s team settled in my grandparents’ community in Bulacao, Cebu City, where they planned their business of terrorizing and toppling down the dictator government.

My father and my mother were never close at first. The former was so uptight and very committed to his cause while my mother was still in her pa-tweetums stage. But by the power of the universe and all its wonders, they became comrades and then friends. Later they fell in love. And in a matter of a few months, they eloped—to my grandparents’ horror!

My father brought her to the outskirts of Davao City, on the mountainous areas where my father grew up. That is where mama’s hardships began. Growing up with a handful of elder sisters, she was a novice to household chores. She barely knew how to cook, do the laundry, clean the house, et cetera. And those things were the ammunition of my father’s mother in bullying her to the hilt, saying to her face that she doesn’t and wouldn’t like her for papa. Never!

Nanay—as we call papa’s mother—always nagged mama of her shortcomings as a wife. She always found faults in everything mama does. She even said to mama that she would never live up to papa’s former fiancée—whom papa left when he joined the rebel cause. All mama could do was bow her head and cry in silence. And to think she was carrying me in her womb then. That, maybe, was the reason why I am a cry-baby. Hah!

But she promised to herself that she would prove Nanay wrong...

Re: Isang malawak na isipan... Thu Jun 18, 2009 3:06 pm by LuAn

continuation......

And that was where she begun to gather her self-confidence. She made every effort to learn all there was to know about taking care of a family. And with papa’s support, she did. She proved Nanay that she was worth more than Nanay ever thought.

When I was born, papa decided to stop joining the cause. He said he wanted to live a normal life for his new family. So mama and papa came to a decision to go down from the mountains and live in Cebu. But before they could settle in, the military discerned that a rebel “big fish” was in the city. They arrested and detained my father. Mama thought that the military would do horrible things to papa—like kill him perhaps. So she decided to be detained with him rather than leave him with the militaries alone; and she brought me with her. The three of us were imprisoned in some prison cell in the military barracks here in Cebu. Later, the Aquino administration gave my father amnesty, a bill of freedom for someone who surrendered voluntarily.

And that was where their success story started. Mama and papa turned out to have a good acumen in food commerce. They ventured into the school canteen business, and it thrived. They established a good life for their family, for their children, for us. We did not stay in Cebu, though. When I was seven, my father decided to bring the family to Davao and stay there for good. And there they still thrive with the school canteen business. We, their children, lived a rather comfortable life. Provided of everything we needed and wanted. We had a pretty good life.

But everything really doesn’t last forever. When I was fifteen, a tragedy came to our family. Papa, who was a ‘government contractor’ of the mayor, along with three of his former-comrades-turned-bodyguards went missing during one of their bodyguard duties. All he left for us was a single text message and a phone call that said “someone took us” and “don’t worry, I’ll be alright.”

But it was not alright, things were never alright after that. Mama was always out of the house,--with the wives of the other three men who went missing with papa—to look for them everywhere; their friends’ houses, police stations, hospitals, morgues, everywhere. But there was no trace, no sign, no nothing. Not even a dead body that could be buried and visited. We were left with nothing but memories and old clothes.

I saw how mama fell apart after that. I saw how she broke down into tears every time she was in front of the altar praying for papa’s return, how inattentive to people she was, how she forgot the family’s business, how she almost forgot to live and succumb to grief and despair, how she almost forgot her children, her family, and her life. She became a different person, a person I didn’t know, I didn’t recognize. A person who was broken beyond repair.

The family almost broke apart. Without papa around and mama nearing to her breaking point, there was no one to hold the family together. I was still fifteen then, our youngest was barely two. We were on the verge of being separated, of being torn apart, of being dismantled. We were becoming a dying family, withering slowly.

However, as they say, life goes on. With lola’s—mama’s mother—help and guidance, mama learned to stand up again, to live life again. Slowly, she gathered and strengthened herself and started back on her walk for life. She said that papa may be gone, but she still has us. She could not stop living because she lost her husband. She should go on living because she has three children whom she loves and who depended on her. She still has a family who never stopped caring and loving her. She should go on and fight, for herself, for us, for the family.

And life does goes on even after tragedies and hardships. It goes on for mama, for me, for my brother and sister. It goes on for our family who was tested by fate but saved by love and by hope… END

Re: Isang malawak na isipan... Thu Jun 18, 2009 3:09 pm by **Kaye Cee**

I have read this story already from the other site, but this one, the way you deliver it this time really made me cry...

Saludo ako sa Mama mo sis... She's a strong woman. i admire her a lot. And I admire for raising up a wonderful daughter like you... sana paglaki ng anak ko, katulad mo ring sensible at mapagmahal sa kabila ng mga pagsubok...

Yung tipong hindi pa rin nauubusan ng pagmamahal sa puso mo... You're still there, striving hard and you never stop dreaming. Palaging positibo pa rin.

Re: Isang malawak na isipan... Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:58 pm by carmilina

awww..luan always remember andito lang kami lagi for you,,,

nakaka touch yun essay/story...napasadahan ko ng basa.,..

Re: Isang malawak na isipan... Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:43 pm by LuAn

tenx ha...di pa naman to xa lumalabas since na-delay yung printing ng summer issue namin...

pero kinakabahan ako sa reaction ng mga mamamayan 'pag nabasa nila 'to...

ewan ko ba...di ako confident eh...hai...

Re: Isang malawak na isipan... Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:48 pm by LuAn

here is another one short story of mine...nabasa niyo na yata 'to...pero p-in-olish ko at mejo pinahaba para magkasya sa loob ng isa o dalawang page ng mag namin...hehehe...hope you like it...

Monster behind an angel’s mask

Laira was Miss Popularity personified. Many find her pretty and friendly. She always has a ready smile for everyone. She was also smart, a Dean’s lister. And she is a member of the school choir. She was quite popular with everyone, especially with the boys.

She has a constant string of admirers and suitors. But nobody from them ever caught her heart. She was neither picky nor choosy. However, she didn’t feel something more than friendship towards her suitors so she told them that they are all better off as friends.

But Phillip, ah, what she felt for Phillip was different. Phillip was her bestfriend Carla’s big brother. She had known the man since time immemorial. And she had a crush on him ever since she could remember.

Who wouldn’t? Phillip was the epitome of the “perfect guy.” He was very good looking, funny, smart, generous, family-oriented, and every inch a gentleman. It’s a bonus that he is already financially stable. He was every girl’s dream man, her dream man. A dream that was quite impossible to reach.

A dream that came true….

On the day that she turned 18, Phillip professed his deep affections for her! He said that he had been waiting for that day to come so that he could finally court her.

Oh such joy! She felt so elated because the man of her dreams is courting her! What more could she ask for.

Phillip was such a gallant suitor. He treated her very special. He showered her with gifts, flowers, and chocolates. He always fetches her from school, treats her to food trips, everything! He was fun to be with.

He also befriended everyone who was close to her. He always kept in touch with her parents, telling them his clean intentions toward their daughter, towards her. Her family and friends loved him instantly.

And because of that, she was falling more and more for him. A little over a month of courting, she finally accepted his love. And it’s been sweet time since.

As a boyfriend, he was simply magnificent. She’s never known a man as sweet, caring, and loving like Phillip. She was one lucky girl to have him; to have Prince Charming as her boyfriend. By then, she has already thought of spending her lifetime with Phillip. He was perfect for her. She was so lucky indeed.

On their fifth month together, they had a big argument. Phillip had asked something she never thought he would ask from her. A “gift” to prove her love for him. She knew what that gift was. She wasn’t born yesterday.

She was appalled and insulted! How could he ask that from her?! She refused and gave her a piece of her angry mind. She even slapped him. It was so ridiculous and unrespectful that he asked something that she was not ready to give any time soon. She was so mad at him.

She was about to call a break-up when Phillip hugged her tight and asked for forgiveness. He was being a jerk, he said. He said he understood and would never ask such thing again. And she forgave him.

She was happy that Phillip respected her refusal. She was gladder that he understood.

Or so she thought.

Two months later, on Phillip’s birthday, they went out on a date. He was especially sweet that night. He was teasing her and making her giggle with his corny jokes. Their date was filled with laughter and fun.

They dined at a restaurant just around downtown. They were sipping wine then. It was the first time that he allowed her to drink wine. She was just about to finish her drink when she felt warm and fuzzy inside. Then her vision blurred. She saw Phillip came toward her and asked if she was alright before everything went blank…

She woke up. Her head was aching so badly. It was like hollow blocks were smashed on it. Her body was aching more. She didn’t know what happened to her.

She scanned her surroundings. She was in an unfamiliar room, lying in an unfamiliar bed. She was covered with immaculately white linens and wore nothing beneath. So she clutched the linens to cover herself.

She was confused for a while. She can’t comprehend because her mind was in shambles.

What happened…? She thought.

Suddenly Phillip emerged from a door. He was wearing nothing on but a towel around his hips. He grinned widely, came near her, and kissed her forehead.

“Thank you for the gift, babe,” he said. Then he went on getting dressed.

Then it dawned on her. Something happened. Something terrible happened.

Oh my God… Tears started to fall from her eyes and it never stopped. She cried and cried and cried. She didn’t talk nor shout even if that was what she wanted to do. She was shocked. Her body couldn’t move.

Then she heard a groan. A groan like of an animal in pain. She realized… it was coming from her!

Sudden understanding hit her. She was violated. By Phillip. Her beloved Phillip violated her. She trusted him, loved him. And now he broke that trust, he broke her love. He robbed her of her innocence, of her right, of her life.

She cried more. She didn’t know when she stopped crying. Tears just kept falling ang falling from her eyes. It seems like she’s already dying.

She was lost, so lost. She lost what she held dear, what she protected. She lost what she had treasured all her life. And she lost it to a monster behind an angel’s mask…END

Re: Isang malawak na isipan... Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:34 pm by Guest

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

akala ko hapy ever after...mali pala...

how sad....such a jack ass....di dapat pininpilit ang mga babae.....

grabe naman ito....ayan malungkot na buong araw ko kasi iispin ko to magdamag...hehe

iaasume kong di sila nagkatulyan?

ryt??

iwan mo na ya!!!!! damuho yan......s***

ang galing ate.....naramdaman ko yung feeling nug girl kahit maikli lang yung story

galing mo ate....

Re: Isang malawak na isipan... Wed Jun 24, 2009 11:43 am by LuAn

hi aldrien...

thanks ha,,na-appreciate mo...

nahirapan din ako sa storyang yan...kasi mas nadadalian akong sumulat nung mga story-story na puno ng kalokohan kasi nga maloko akong tao...

nung naisipan kong isulat yan,,makailang ulit kong nirepaso kasi nga parang kulang...yan na yung resulta ng repaso...mejo nalulungkot din ako sa kinahinatnan nung girl...

pero parang paalala din yan sa mga girls,,and to boys too...na di lahat ng taong mala-anghel,,mapagkakatiwalaan...tanging sarili lang natin ang maaasahan nating mangalaga sa mga sarili nating kapakanan...

yaan mo...later on,,po-post ko yung mga feel-good stories ko...hehehhe...mejo corny pero sinusubukan ko kasing magpakilig...hehehehe...abangan...!

Re: Isang malawak na isipan... Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:59 am by LuAn

it's something i wrote when i was contemplating on the people who thought i was a basket case to the core...

inaamin ko na basket case talaga ako...walang magawa,,walang ginagawa,,walang nakikitang magawa...kung may nagsabing wala na akong pag-asang magbago sa buhay,,baka maniwala ako sa kanila...

baka...

pero alam ko sa sarili ko na kahit may toyo ako,,malaki pa din ang pakinabang ko sa mundo...at hindi ako hanggang dito lang...alam ko uunlad ako...alam ko hanggang sa mga bone marrow ko...

kaya nabuo ang tuang ito--kung matatawag man siyang tula--dahil nais kong patunayan sa kanila na kahit basket case ako,,may halaga,,pagpapahalaga,,at nagpapahalaga ang at sa buhay ko...

intindihin niyo na lang...hehehe...

Angst

To the one who said I couldn’t make it
The one who said that I ain’t worth it
The one who belittle my “puny” talent
Well shame `cause I’m here and you aren’t.

To the one who spat on my being
Who yelled hard at me, blatantly cursing
Who almost punched me on the face straight
Well shame `cause you missed to land a hit.

To the one who made fun of me
Treated me like a walking comedy
Unworthy of any respect and dignity
Well shame `cause look at you and me
I’m still a comedy but you’re a big tragedy

Isang malawak na isipan...

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Isang malawak na isipan...